Thank you
for allowing me to share my story with you. Miracles do happen. I didn't add this part to my story but one night during our
battle, we had an Angel visit us which we thought to be a
confirmation for a healing. I don't understand that visit but I
do know what I saw & felt.
I enjoyed your site - kudos to you!
Lori
I Love My Sister
She is not just my sister but she is a wife, she is a daughter,
a younger and older sister, she is a mom, a niece, a cousin, an
aunt and a great aunt, a loyal friend, a good citizen and a mean
ex wife. She is proud to be part Cherokee and Black foot Indian
with some Irish. She is proud of her roots and heritage.
My sister, Nancy lost her battle with brain cancer on Jan. 18th
@ 6:40am at the age of 47. She fought the battle at home with
the help and support of Hospice, her family & friends. She
was given 2 weeks to 2 months live. She survived 3 months.
I'm her baby sister, we are 6 1/2 years apart - In her last days
of life; I was not only her sister but her care taker in the
fullest sense. I was to learn over the next 3 months what
palliative care really meant and experience a new sisterly bond.
Our time together was 24/7. We bonded in so many ways. I slept
with her in her bed until the day the hospital bed was
delivered. We held hands during the night; sometimes she would
wake up and whisper "I'm so glad you're with me". We
hugged and cried ourselves to sleep sometimes. Some nights we
were up all night learning pain scales when to increase the
pain medication. I took baths with her until she was bed ridden
then gave her sponge baths. We tried so many recipes and food
that didn't taste bland until the day the feeding tube was
installed. When I had to stop feeding her I continued to
give her food through the word of God because it is said in the
Bible that man shall not live by bread alone but by every word
that proceeds out of the Bible.
We fought hard and prayed hard; we believed for a miracle. We
stayed focused on being optimistic and being strong. We were a
team & we had a POA (plan of action). She hit this head on,
wanting to know what, when, where & how. She was a trooper
& fighter in spirit - she was determined to fight cancer
with every thing she had in her. She gradually became to believe
she was a "Miracle in the Making" - an M&M.
Some family and friends thought we were in denial the whole time
but we weren't. Nancy new the reports the doctor gave her - she
also knew God performed miracles. She had choices and she chose
to believe in a miracle. She chose to believe with pure heart
which gave her the courage, hope and strength that prolonged her
life. She considered herself a "Miracle in the Making"
and I believed with her. We fought hard not to allow any doubt
in our hearts or minds - I had to believe with her because I
felt her life was dependent on it.
Nancy went blind in one eye then gradually became completely
blind, she had partial hearing and sometimes no voice to later
not being able to talk at all I became her voice, I became
her eyes and her ears. She would communicate through sign
language thank goodness we learned at an earlier age. This
was beyond what I learning about Palliative care. Nancy was a
strong woman who spoke her mind sometimes it was difficult
being her voice. As her baby sister - I was also proud to be her
voice because she was teaching me once again on how to be a
strong woman no matter what challenges we are facing.
Even though Nancy wasn't a medical miracle - she was a miracle
in a spiritual sense because she met Jesus Christ our Lord
through this battle with cancer. She always believed in "A
God" but didn't know which one to believe in. During her
last days - she needed to know the truth about God and where her
soul would go. She asked about heaven and hell she asked
about good and evil she asked if God was real and if the
devil was real. She wanted to know the truth. She had to know
because she knew deep down she was facing death and her soul
depended on knowing the truth.
I read her the bible and we talked and talked and we prayed and
we prayed. She got to learn who her heavenly father was &
who Jesus was. She understood why the resurrection of Jesus was
so important to our souls and how much God loved her. She
understood there is a cosmic battle going on between God and
Devil and how this battle will continue until Jesus Christ
returns. She experienced a new birth instead of death. She
experienced what it meant to be free from death. She is a
miracle because Christ redeemed her soul from Hell. And we are
comforted and happy to know she is free of pain, free from sin
and evil she will never suffer again.
As I look back at all that we had been through in the past 3
months - I was blessed to have spent that time with her. I got
know her better through the eyes and hearts of her friends &
family and through all the get well cards, emails & voice
mails. I got to understand her love for her husband and his love
her. I got see her love for her sons in the way she held them
and spoke to them. I got to witness the love of my parents and
the love my sisters have for her. We all knew and loved her in
our own ways and we all have our own story about who she was in
our life.
She will be missed by many!
PS a miracle did happen for me the day she died a ruby ring
of hers that she wore everyday (I promise, Nancy I was just
trying it on LOL) turned from a ruby gem to an amethyst gem
the ring has two gems on it there's a big one
symbolizing to me "my big sister" and a smaller one
for "her baby sister". The ring is on my wedding
finger (I'm single) - I pity the mister who tries to come
between my sister and me LOL He's gonna have a heck of a
time getting it off. Nancy and I will always be together in
spirit and I will always love my sister.
PSS One thing I didn't learn in Palliative Care is how selfish
grieving is.
tjB@2008
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