We will take a close look at relationships, the ins and outs of building strong and lasting relationships utilizing guidelines and techniques as described in the word of God. We will search the word of God to see what the Bible will teach us about relationships, the requirements, the expectations and the responsibilities of those involved in relationships.

We will look closely at how the scriptures guide us in the development of and how to maintain good relationships. We will examine different types of relationships such as friendships, couples, marriages, and business relationships. We will look closely at God’s wisdom and His guidelines in order to have and maintain prosperous relationships.

How do you go about building a relationship? What does a relationship consist of? What are some of the key factors in a good relationship? Is it easy to build and maintain such a relationship? These are all some very good and interesting questions; let’s see if we can find the answers.

First, let’s examine what a relationship is. Webster’s Encyclopedic Dictionary explains it as: The state of being related ~ the mutual exchange between two people or groups who have dealings with one another ~ Kinship.

Second, what does a relationship consist of? Webster’s Encyclopedic Dictionary explains it as: the terms on which one person (state, etc.) has dealings with another person (state, etc.) in (or with) relation to concerning, so far as concerns relational showing syntactic relation.

Third, what are some of the key factors necessary for a relationship? Trust, Faithfulness, Respect, Kindness, Concern, Honesty, Communication, Forgiveness, Confidentiality and Growth are the primary factors necessary to establish a relationship. We will examine each one of these components closely and see what God’s guidelines are.

Have you heard the old phrase: “you don’t get something from nothing”? Well the same applies when it come to building a relationship, you have to give of yourself in order for another to give of themselves. The primary goal is to establish trust and through establishing trust respect is grown.

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Key factors in building and maintaining a relationship:

Trust:

Whoever is honest is trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own”?

 Can you be trusted? Are you worthy of someone else’s trust? Do you reflect this in your lifestyle? Webster’s Encyclopedic Dictionary explains trust as: Confidence in a person or thing because of the qualities one perceives or seems to perceive in him or it ~ the person in whom or thing in which one has confidence ~ acceptance of something as true and reliable without being able to verify it.

Do you have the qualifications as found under the explanation of trust? Is trust something that is automatic or do you have to build this necessary trait? The truth is some trust is automatic, however like a relationship it continues to grow and mature with time.

Faithfulness:

3 John 1:3 It gave me great joy to have some brothers come and tell me about your faithfulness to the truth and how you continue to walk in the truth”. The Bible teaches us that once we have been given the trust we must be faithful. We must work hard through our faithfulness not to destroy the trust that is established. Proverbs 3:3 “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.

It would be safe to say that trust and faithfulness go hand in hand, it is impossible to have one without the other. 1Corinthians 4:2 “Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful”. It is through the combination of these two traits that we begin to establish a relationship whether it be in marriage… friendship… companionship or a working relationship… it is the combination of these that wins favor and trust. Proverbs 3:4 “Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man”.

Respect:

1 Thessalonians 4:11,12, Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders, and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. Here we are shown how to conduct ourselves so we can earn the respect of others. You will notice that I said earn respect? Respect isn’t something that is just given from each person who comes in contact with you…

Respect must be earned and the Bible provides instruction on how to obtain respect through our lifestyle. 1 Peter 2:17, Show proper respect to everyone: love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.

Kindness:

Matthew 5:7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy”. If and when we live our lives as an example of love, faith, purity and speech then kindness will flow from us as the living waters flowed from Jesus. Colossians 3:12, Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

The hardest part of displaying kindness in today’s world is the lack of forgiveness we carry in our hearts for those who have wronged us. Once again the Bible directs us: Colossians 3:13,14, Bear with each other, and forgive whatever grievance you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Concern:

Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will seek God”. How can one live his/her life daily and lack concern for someone else? How can we turn our backs on those in need? At what point do we place the interest of others above our own? 1 Corinthians 12:25, So that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.

The Bible teaches us that we should have concern for one another… Why then do so many people involved in a relationship place themselves above the other? Have we then forgotten the commandment of Jesus? Mark 12:31 The second is this: “Love your neighbor as yourself”.

Someone who is a member of God’s family, someone who has the Love of God and Jesus alive inside of them… loves their neighbor! We who are reborn into God’s family are called righteous… Proverbs 29:7, The righteous cares about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.

Honesty:

Matthew 5:6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled”. Now we are going to take a look at the very foundation of a relationship, it is this foundation that the key factors rotate around. Imagine if you can… a wheel with the spokes (key factors) coming to the center (foundation), and anchoring themselves to honesty. Proverbs 12:17-19, A truthful witness gives honest testimony, but a false witness tells lies. Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.

Every relationship has a base… whether its friendship. Romance, companionship… it doesn’t matter… the foundation for any and all relationships is honesty. Once again God gives us direction on honesty within the 10 commandments: Exodus 20:14-16 You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house.

Why did I bring covet into this… it is through our covetousness (wants) that we seem to misplace our honesty especially within relationships.

Communication:

Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called Sons of God”. Communication… What is it? Webster’s Encyclopedic Dictionary says: “A sending, giving or exchanging of information, ideas, etc.”.

Okay so communication is the process used to exchange information between people, through speech or actions. 1 Timothy 4:12, Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

We have discovered that communication is a vital component necessary for any relationship whether it is a working… marriage… companionship… or friendship. We must communicate with one another about positive and negative issues. Matthew 18:15, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over”.

The same applies when something positive happens… we must praise our brothers… our wives… our employers and our friends. It is these communication processes that trust… faithfulness… and respect grow. But first and foremost we must remember to be honest… 1 Timothy 3:9, They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience.

Is maintaining a relationship easy? No, but the rewards of sharing your life with someone is to expand your horizons. It takes a lot of work, time, energy, faith and patience to build a relationship.